


For Sans

by officaldaelight



Series: Random Undertale One-Shots for da SOUL [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: But those never really happened, Don't think I didn't cry while writing this, F/M, Hints of self-harm and something more than that maybe?, I Had To, I'm Sorry, I'm so cruel, I'm teh Feels Queen!, Okay but seriously doh, Reader is trying to cope from depression, So much angst, So much depression, WAAAAHHH
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-08 18:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7768168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/officaldaelight/pseuds/officaldaelight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're broken. Weak. Tired. Torn apart. But you had to be strong...</p><p>For him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Sans

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SO FRICKEN SORRY.
> 
> Trigger warning? I guess?

The pitter-patter of the rain on the eaves reminded you of your tears cascading down your face, the cool liquid dampening your pale cheeks. Like the sky that darkened before you, blackness drapped on you, the darkness embracing your anguish. You remained quiet no matter how many people asked if you were fine, your gaze remaining on the picture of a certain someone on your locket. How could you speak? Of course you were not fine. Your heart shattered like glass and felt like it was swept against the ocean's wild currents. You don't even know if you'll be fine again.

Your fingers ran on the smooth surface of your pendant, your soul trapped deep in the memory of the one you loved the most. You've cried every tear, spilled every word, raged every emotion. Still... despite everything, you still can't empty yourself. The help offered to you proved no use and comfort was blocked out by your wall of despair.

Once you were sure that people didn't mind you, your breath hitched and your heart seemingly stopped. Your were breaking down again... as if you weren't broken enough. Your shoulders shook wildly and your chest felt heavy as it weighed your hopelessness and gloom. You can't hold back your desperate sobs so you decided to let it all out, asking the questions "Why?", "Why him?" and "Why?" again. You begged the now gone love of your life to come back over and over again, pinching yourself in hopes you were dreaming.

But you weren't.

This was the worst scenario that could ever happen in your life. To think that he used to console and comfort you when you had these nightmares, saying that he's there and everything is fine. He'd hug you, shower you with love and kiss you to no end. You missed it. You missed his cool bones around your arms. His hard but smooth lips on yours. His fingers entangled on your hair. Everything. You especially missed the warmth of his love for you radiating from his SOUL as he encouraged you once in a while that dreams come true. Then, he'd tell you that you were a dream come true that he never thought of dreaming.

And he's right. Dreams do come true. But he missed the part to point out that nightmares are dreams, too.

So here you were, weeping bitterly on the nightmare you'll never wake up from...

Sans is gone.

Dead.

Dust.

Ashes.

Gone.

The words rang in your mind like enormous church bells were at your ears. It hurt. It hurt your mind, heart and SOUL. It hurt so bad to the point that the very culmination of your being started tear apart. You saw it. But you never told anyone. You wanted more than anything for death to come to you. You can't bring yourself to take your own life. Sans would never want that. So you hoped and prayed that, one morning, you'd never wake.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. It never was. But it had to.

A few months ago, he showed signs of weakening. You and his younger brother thought it was just him being lazy and that it was his fatigue talking. But, soon, it became worse. He couldn't stand up on his own. His knees wobbled when he tried to walk. His body began to obey gravity's pull as if it was drawn to the ground.

 "It's fine," he'd tell you. "I'm fine,"

But he wasn't.

When he was checked up, it was too late. His days were numbered and his strength was draining. Alphys told you that this was expected to happen as he had only 1 HP.

You could've been the cure. You could've raised up his HoPe to, at least, two. But when you came into his life, his end was drawing nigh. You cursed yourself for it. Then he'd hold your hand and tell you it was not your fault. You'd clutch on his phalenges and sob, his thumb gently rubbing your cheeks to dry your tears off. He knew it would be waste of time telling you he was okay. So, instead, he focused on pouring every once of love in him and give it all to you.

 "Heh... Did you know... that your eyes look like the night sky when you do that? And your tears look like stars falling on me. It sounds bad but I love it when you cry on my shoulder. It feels like the entire universe is drawn to me. Thanks for bringing it to this bag of bones, sweetheart,"

You giggled. Even at his deathbed, he's still the jokester you knew and loved. It was a shame that this ray of sunshine is soon to be snuffed out.

You never left his side after that. You lay in bed with him, fed him his favorite foods, whispered to his ear, told him you loved him more than anyone in this world and hugged him like your life depended on him.

One day, things changed. You were about to watch a movie with him when he weakly raised his hand and rested it on yours to stop you. He looked at you straight to the eye, as if pleading for one more wish before he leaves this world.

 "Marry me..." he whispered.

You were taken aback by his request. He then took your hand, wrapping it with both of his. The pale blue tint on his face glowed and he offered you a crooked smile.

 "I want to give you my life, however short it might be. I want to give you my heart, despite its beats will be few. But I can assure you, sweetheart, this SOUL is still goin' on because of you. All these last beats are for you. I can't offer you forever, but I can offer you my everything. Be mine for my last moments, sweetheart. Let me love you with the little time I have and I will be yours. But that's only if you want to...

 "What do you say?" 

How many times have you cried again? You lost count. You were pretty sure this was your thousandth time.

The next thing you knew was that the king of all monsters was at his bedside to marry both of you and the whole gang behind him to witness it all. Toriel provided you with a beautiful white dress that fitted you like a glove. Sans told you you looked beautiful as always, his smile seemingly brightening. When both of you said your vows, it looked like, for a moment, that Sans was well. That he was fine. Once you kissed, the room echoed with applause and Papyrus' happy crying. It sounded goofy at first. But it turned serious and genuine in a matter of minutes. He expressed his happiness for both of you, thank you for sending his dear brother off with a smile.

Oh, how you held him. How you latched onto him. He patted your back as if trying to tell you that he was still there. He gave you a heart locket as he can't get you a ring. You told him it was perfect and that you'd put his picture in it to honor him. He beamed at your suggestion, agreeing with it whole-heartedly. Your worries and sorrows seemingly disappeared... until two days later.

You woke up from your seat and walked to his bed to find him still... peaceful... You hovered your ear above where his SOUL should be. It's not beating anymore. You knew this was coming. You knew this would happen. But, still... It broke you in every way possible. You tried to stop your crying, covering your mouth as the sobs tempted to escape. You reached out for his hand, longing to hold it one last time. When you did, he disintigrated and turned into dust.

The last thing you saw was his gentle smile.

Everyone was devastated, of course. Most especially Papyrus. His cheerful aura seemed to have vanquished once he stepped into the room and find his brother, best friend and comrade to be no more. He didn't laugh nor perform japes nor snort at puns. He did smile once in a while, though, saying it was for his brother. He mourned but he was still the Great Papyrus.

Still, no one grieved for his loss more than you. You worried the tall skeleton and the queen of monsters whenever they'd hear you cry out in your room. You seemed to be out of control in the first few days, crying from dusk 'til dawn. Even Undyne, whom you considered to be the toughest of all monsters, was shaken at your cries. When she tried to calm you down, she couldn't help but let her tears fall at the sight of you. You looked so pained. So agonized. Your sorrow bled and bled and never stopped.

It was a surprise when they found you so calm and collected at his funeral. Monsters' funerals were different. It was more of remembering the dead than burying them to the ground or sending them off to raging waters to be forgetten. You had to offer a testimony. But you never spoke. You were so tired that they allowed you to take a pass, letting Papyrus say the last words.

So here you were, weeping your soul out once more. Your fears rammed to your being, forcing their way into you heart. Your depression clouded your mind that all you could think of was him. Your pain cut through your heart, wounding you with every hiccup and every cry.

Suddenly, your hands felt warm in the presence of another. You looked up, pausing your grieving for a moment.

The tall skeleton looked at you with so much concern and care. You could almost see his brother in his eyes.

He simply smiled at you and invited you to his embrace which you willingly accepted. Both of you wept the last tears you could cry. Your cries were sore and bitter while his was silent and mellow, despite the harsh sting in the missing part of his heart.

 "I miss him..." you groaned.

 "Me, too, human. Me, too..." Papyrus patted your back. "But, hey. Sans wouldn't want us to stay like this. Let's not waste our lives buried in a pain that won't go away. We should honor him... even though he could be quite a lazybones,"

You chuckled. "You're right... And this would be the part where he'd say he'd worked a skele-ton,"

 "And I'd complain to him on how annoying was being and he'd apologize, telling me his pun bank is bone dry as you laugh at him," he snorted.

 "Yeah..."

 "Look, we both miss him terribly. But let's live..." He extended his hand in front of you, weakly smiling as he did so. "For Sans..."

Smiling, you held it, shaking it lightly. "For Sans..."

...

Months had passed. The pain was still there. Every time you thought of him, it wouldn't dull. But you've been better. Both you and Papyrus were. You were both introduced to people to help deal with the pain. Your friends tried cheering you up and comforting you the best they can, promising their company to be available any time. Slowly and gradually, you began smiling again. You began laughing again.

Regardless of the amount of support and help you received, you and Papyrus agreed that the other was the one that helped the most. Both of you grew closer, participating in various activities to help you cope. You both started a gaming channel on the Internet, goofing off and competing at throwing off the best puns. Your afternoons were mostly comprised of watching silly movies together, singing off catchy songs like no one was around. He'd yell at you sometimes and you'd simply reply with a pun and you two would laugh hysterically.

It was amazing how closer you got with everyone since Sans' death. Papyrus even thought of you as his big sister in place of Sans, calling you with that title even. You can't help but feel flattered, vowing to look after him with your life just as his brother did before you.

After a busy day, one night, you immediately went to slumber once you lay on bed. You fell into a deep sleep that you began dreaming...

Dreaming of nothing but hope, light and...

* * *

_"Heya,"_

_"Hey,"_

_"You're doing good,"_

_"I'm doing well,"_

_"That's good... Um... Thanks,"_

_"For what?"_

_"For taking care of my little bro for me. I'm surprised that you made him happier than I did. I can't thank you enough,"_

_"No sweat. We're family and we got to stick together, right?"_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"I miss you,"_

_"I know... I miss you, too,"_

_"Why did you have to go?"_

_"Had to. I didn't want to. But I had to,"_

_"Can't you come back?"_

_"I am here, love. I never left. I'm right here..."_

_"But I want to hold you again. I miss your puns. I miss your laugh. I miss your hugs and kisses. I miss you,"_

_"I'm still here..."_

_"Where?"_

_"Right here. Can't you feel me?"_

_"Maybe... How are you still here?"_

_"Smile more, sweetheart. I'm still here. I'll always be here..."_

_"How? Why?"_

_"For you,"_

**Author's Note:**

> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I DID THE UNSPEAKABLE. Ima just get ready for the angry mob that's gonna raid me with pitchforks and torches... But NOBODY shall dethrone the Feels Queen! I shall make mer ANGST! HEHEHEHEHE...
> 
> Just wanted to practice angst, okay?! No, seriously. I needed to practice it. Hope this did justice.
> 
> The proposal was inspired by a book series my friend told me. Some one about Jem? I forgot. But, yeah.
> 
> So wadda ya guys think? Lemme know your reactions! Lemme know if ya cried a bucket of tears! Just like me, only wosre! :D Yer comments always make my DAE X3


End file.
